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Does disciplining kids really change their behavior?
Do you sometimes:
- Get frustrated disciplining your child because the discipline appears to be ineffective?
- Change the discipline of your kids in search of the most effective one to use on your child?
- Come to the conclusion that no discipline is effective on your child?
Have you ever thought why so many people commit murder when they know the consequence is the death penalty?
Never rely or count on discipline to affect the behavior of your child. Disciplining children was never intended to have an effect on them. The only thing that it provides is a consequence to misbehavior, something that should occur automatically after your child misbehaves. Whether or not discipline has any positive impact relies specifically on your child and what he or she is thinking about the discipline.
Your child, like everyone else, needs to take ownership of his or her
own thoughts, feelings, and behavior. These thoughts and feelings have
nothing to do with external events and problems but rather on our interpretation
of those events. Therefore, for some kids it takes only a one
time disciplining and guidance to change defiant behavior while
other young children require more frequent disciplining.
Disciplining children in consistent manner
Believing that disciplining of a child changes his or her behavior negatively affects discipline efficacy and parental authority. Oftentimes, parents will change the discipline in order to meet the needs of a specific child. In the case of a parent with several young kids, this parent might render several alternative discipline methods and lessons to their kids for the same misbehavior making disciplining rather difficult, overbearing, and frustrating. Oftentimes, children manipulate by making their parents believe that no discipline is effective by simply misbehaving either during or directly after the discipline concludes. This usually occurs with children whose parents have a history of giving up on discipline after coming to the conclusion that no discipline is effective.
In conclusion, it is my recommendation that you stick with what ever
discipline plan and rewards that you feel appropriate for your child given
a specific misbehavior provided that the discipline is an appropriate
consequence to the specific misbehavior. Continue to accent that discipline
and guidance to your child regardless of how many times your child engages
in the same misbehavior. Understand that the decision to change behavior
is strictly up to your child and not based on the discipline that you
choose to impose. When your child begins to realize that you are consistent
with discipline by refusing to be manipulated by continued misbehavior,
your child will eventually discontinue his or her misbehavior. Good behavior
is right around the corner.
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