Subscribe to our FeedChildren and Teen Bullying
Child bullying has always occurred in schools. It's the aftermath of the bullying that has become more severe especially with the advent of cyber-bullying. The problem is that we tend to focus too much of our time punishing bullies as opposed to empowering the victims of it. Children and teens have the power to eradicate or minimize bullying by thinking and reacting in certain ways. The idea is to focus on the things we can control as opposed to what we can't control. Children have the power to stop bullying. It is up to us to teach them how to harness their abilities.
Bullies and their victims are very similar in that both tend to have low self-esteem. Self-esteem issues exist because of negative situations that happen in a child's life. The difference is how children deal with bullying. Bullies end up externalizing their feelings while victims internalize them. Externalizing feelings is a way for a child bully to feel control over events that are otherwise uncontrollable such as a parents' divorce. Internalizing occurs because the child or teen may react to a situation by withdrawing and blaming himself or herself for the situation. This leads to feelings of inadequacy which are further validated by the bully.
Children and teens with high self-esteem realize that the stuff that bullies say are untrue and therefore does not effect them. They do not feel they have to defend themselves against bullies. It isn't the events in our lives that cause us to react a certain way. It's how we perceive those events.Children, teens, and adults alike all have the ability to take ownership and control over our thoughts. We however have limited or no control over specific events, situations, and the behavior of others. Sometimes, we attempt to control events, situations, and others but become frustrated when our attempts fail. The same is true for child bullying. The bully will attempt to control the victim and if the victim allows himself to be controlled, the bully gets what he or she wants. If the victim acts oppositely of what the bully expects, the bully will withdraw.
In summary:
-
Children and teens can minimize bullying by thinking and reacting in certain ways.
- Children bullying occurrs because of low self-esteem in both the bully and the victim.
- Child bullies act the way they do to feel control over events that are uncontrollable.
- Children with high self-esteem aren't effected by bullying because they know the stuff bullies say are untrue.
- If the victim allows himself to be controlled, the bully gets what he or she wants.
- Likewise, if the victim does not react how the bully wants, the bully will leave him or her alone.
